Separate Schools Page 25

  Taylor said in an apologizing tone: “I know, I’m sorry. It’s our last weekend before school.”

  Kelsey was laughing again, saying now, “That’s what you do before you go off to different schools?”

  Taylor said, “I don’t know—I guess so,” and put her hands to her face and laughed into them.

  61

  Harrison watched his two good female friends looking at each other, seeing something communicated between them, their eyes locked on one another; some message being transmitted without their faces even moving. Taylor shook her head no almost imperceptibly.

  Harrison watched the love of his life as her gray eyes darted over Kelsey Kay’s, wondering what was being said. Kelsey Kay apparently knew more about Taylor than he did.

  Kay’s instructions to him on the dock: Keep your head up. Don’t let her run you down.

  Gaze drifting across the room now, he saw Brady sitting by himself on the other bed. There was space for four on Taylor’s, but not much, and he slapped the spot near the edge of the bed by his knee and said, “Look at Brady so lonely over there.”

  There was a spark in Brady’s eyes, and Harrison felt it, too. The moment when they’d been caught had been intense, and emotional, and so sexual, and they were all young and eager. All of them thinking they were so experienced, but really just an accumulation of nothing behind them. Bunch of days at school, chatty gossip, fights, heartbreaks, homework, and parties. A lot of big talk.

  “Come on over, man, don’t worry, I’m wearing shorts.”

  He knew he was afraid. Knew he was afraid to be without Taylor. Knew he was afraid to be without all the people who he’d known for the last eight years. Kelsey Kay would be with him at Michigan State. So would some of the others. But it wasn’t the same, and it scared the shit out of him. Tonight was different. Tonight was the culmination of their past; a distinct point of transition—of transformation. This was the night when it all changed. And the decisions he’d made this evening made him feel like he was finally ready for it. He could be big. He could be there for his friends. He wouldn’t let them down. He would never let Taylor down because he couldn’t love anybody more. When he began to smile again, he wondered what the hell was in that thing from Mikey’s tuna can. Maybe he’d wake up tomorrow and this would be an evening of regrettable actions. But as Brady stood up and took a step toward the bed, he patted it again as if he knew what he was doing.

  Now four them were sitting on the bed, Princess Taylor at the head, of course, bundled up in her pink sweatshirt sitting on the pillows, Kelsey Kay at her feet and touching her ankle. Behind Kay was Brady, resting a hand on Kay’s back. And Harrison had his back against the wall, knees up as if to ward everyone off. But he felt warm and happy, and despite the horror of this afternoon and the absolute torture of what he’d seen through the window, he felt loved and warm, too. He let his legs straighten till his feet hung over the edge of the bed.

  He said, “We were just warming up.”

  Kelsey Kay said, “Gross,” and she sniffed with a laugh.

  He said, “I thought you guys were coming in to challenge us tonight.”

  Brady said, “Oh yeah ...”

  Harrison nudged his butt with a knee, and Brady laughed.

  Kelsey Kay said, “What’s that mean?”

  He said, “You were going to drown us out with your sounds tonight. How’d that turn out?”

  Kelsey Kay laughed again and covered her face. Taylor stroked Kay’s silver hair and smiled.

  He reached over, getting bold, stroked the knuckle of his index finger over the top of Kelsey’s calf and said, “You gave me some advice today and I took it.”

  She said, “You told me to fuck off.”

  He smiled. “It hurt going in, but once it was it there stuck with me.”

  Now it was Brady’s turn: “Gross.”

  Taylor laughed brightly, her chin going up, hair tossing over her shoulder. It made his stomach flinch. She knew what it was like when it hurt going in now. She didn’t this morning. He tented his fingers against his side, pushed a thumb into his rib cage to avoid wincing noticeably. There was something just so exciting about it. Something so exciting about her. He could do this.

  “No, really ...” he said.

  Taylor asked, “What did she tell you?”

  “Bunch of stuff,” he said. “Mostly to keep my head up. And to be cool.”

  Kelsey looked at him with an almost dreamy smile, appreciating his tender words. She said, “You cool?”

  He said, “I think I can be.”

  Kelsey stayed with his gaze and said, “Or at least act like you are.”

  “Exactly,” he said.

  Brady said, “It’s pretty cool—what you two do when you’re sending each other off to separate schools. Makes me wish I went to one.”

  Kelsey was still looking at Harrison, hearing Brady’s words. Brady who was at the end of his rope. Cute, hunky Brady who would be spending his last time at the lake house, for sure. Maybe it was the last time for all of them. Brady was a fling. Kelsey Kay using him for his hot body. All the girls were like that, weren’t they? He’d just never wanted to see it. They were no different from the guys. When you get too attractive and you can get anything you want, you get everything you want. But when you weren’t blessed with a body like Colt’s or sport sex equipment like his, you had to find your value elsewhere. You had to establish it; you had to make it known. He’d always made it known to Taylor, and she never forgot. When she went away to school, she could do the things she needed to do. He’d trust that no one could ever love her like he did and that she knew it. He’d trust that anything that happened in her dorm room bed was just for fun. He’d stick with her. And he could prove it.

  62

  Kelsey Kay’s eyes had never left his, even when he went distant, lost in a dark sliver of woods in his own head. They’d stared at each other the whole time, but she came into focus again.

  He made a funny sort of smile at her like she had just read his mind and he felt vulnerable and exposed. Her smile grew wider. Then, she rolled forward on her knees, went close to Taylor, hands on her shoulders. Taylor put her hands on Kelsey Kay’s waist. For a second, he thought they were going to kiss, and his heart did a funny drum line like it was at a comedy show and someone had just landed a punch line. His hand went over his heart. But they didn’t kiss; Kelsey Kay whispered into Taylor’s ear through two cupped hands. Two adult women now who looked so much like the teenage girls he’d always known. The mannerisms were the same, but their minds and bodies were advancing rapidly. Faster than he could keep up. His heart began to race again.

  There was a multitude of possible things Kelsey was whispering; from the sweet and heartfelt to the horribly, disgustingly profane. An absolute certain honesty: anything that was whispered was welcome. It was beautiful to him no matter how kind or perverse it might be. The sight of them like that made him smile again. This was their last night together like this.

  Without even thinking, he let his hand fall to grip Kelsey’s ankle, thumb resting on the back of her black converse. She didn’t even flinch or kick him away. He felt new and changed, and there was that other thing he wasn’t used to: power. Value beyond being kind.

  Taylor was nodding, and she had something to whisper as well. Brady watched them, too, and their two male minds synced up. It was all over Brady’s face that he was fixated on the possibility here.

  Kelsey Kay sat back down on her heels and he removed his hand before he was offered scorn.

  He said, “What’s with all the secrets?”

  “What secrets?” Taylor whispered as she was looking at Kelsey.

  He offered up, “Wondering if I’m cool or not?”

  “Kind of,” Kelsey Kay said, still looking at Taylor.

  He let his hand fall and hold Kelsey’s ankle again, and said, “I’m cool, don’t worry.”

  Now she looked at him, but turned away. Just before he thought this had all been a mis
understanding and she would return to the other side of the room, she pivoted and touched Brady’s T-shirt, tugged it upward. Brady watched her hand and sat back farther.

  Harrison said, “Take your shirt off.” He looked to Taylor and her eyes were wide. “You want to, don’t you?”

  She shook her head no but her eyes returned to watch Kelsey and Brady. She didn’t want to—but some twisted little part of his sweet girlfriend did. And he would nurture it because it wasn’t as ugly as she thought it was. There was nothing ugly about any of this if it was done with love. She loved him and he loved her.

  Brady kissed Kelsey, sucking on her mouth, then began pulling his shirt up. He wasn’t a football player, he wasn’t as yoked as Colt was, his shoulders not big, round globes. But the guy was on his way. He’d competed one time already in some bodybuilding thing; he wasn’t huge but his body was packed with slender muscle and he was what the girls would describe as cut.

  Brady slung his shirt off and let it drop to the floor, his hands went to touch Kelsey, began stroking her arms while they kissed. Harrison caught Taylor’s attention, and she looked at him, her eyes still wide; almost horrified. He nodded to her; whatever she was thinking was okay. Whether she’d just like to watch, partake, whatever it was he was willing to listen. He respected whatever lust beat in that perfect heart of hers.

  He scooted sideways so he could hold her hand. He put his fingers through hers and rubbed his thumb over one of her fine knuckles.

  “What are you doing?” she asked him.

  “What are you doing?” he asked her.

  “Nothing,” she said, eyes still glued.

  He said, “What were you whispering to Kay?”

  “Nothing. Just stuff.”

  “You didn’t ask for this?”

  She shook her head no. Then her head jerked rapidly to face his, and she said, “Ask for what?”

  He said, “Whatever happens.”

  “What’s going to happen, Harrison?” she said now, her voice getting a little pinched and high.

  He said, “I have no idea.”

  “Okay,” she sighed, worry and tension in her voice.

  The hand he held wasn’t loose, her grip not relaxed. The tension in her had her fingers squeezing like scissors against his, and he put his other hand over top to soothe her, saying, “Easy, easy ...”

  Now it was Brady’s turn to look in Kelsey Kay’s eyes—trying to communicate without speaking. But he was sure that Brady had zero telepathic ability. You had to know someone for a long time and really care about them to be able to do that. His eyes just dumbly rolled around Kelsey Kay’s face, and she looked at him blankly, though her mouth hung open in a worried slack.

  Harrison would have to be the ringleader. Harrison, the guy who cried buckets of tears today over his girlfriend’s behavior would have to be the one in charge. He said, “Get up on the bed,” to Brady, patting the spot now to the right of him.

  He let Taylor’s hand go and indicated where he’d been sitting and scooted back to the foot of the bed. Brady’s brow furrowed, and he watched Kelsey’s eyes. She didn’t know either. She wasn’t saying no. She wasn’t in love with this guy. This was this guy’s last night, anyway. And of important note: Kelsey Kay had a reputation to live up to. If there was anybody in their group of friends who might engage in what he thought was about to happen, he figured it would’ve been Kelsey Kay to have done it.

  She was breathing heavy now, and she ran her front teeth over the curl of her pouting bottom lip. Then she nodded very slightly. Brady didn’t need more encouragement. He put one hand down on the bed and hoisted himself up to sit next to Harrison right between him and Taylor. He still held Kelsey Kay’s hand, but he was looking at Taylor now.

  Harrison said to Taylor, “Go ahead.”

  She was tentative, fearful. Brady didn’t encourage her either, just staring at Harrison’s beautiful girlfriend. But Harrison could see the guy’s pulse in a neck vein that ran up from his collar. His heart was beating as fast as Harrison’s.

  Harrison said to him, “Taylor really likes your body.”

  Taylor made a scolding face meant for Harrison but still watched Brady.

  Brady didn’t know what to say; Mr. Cool Dude with that hot body didn’t know how to act right now. He said dumbly: “Yeah?”

  Harrison said to Taylor again, “Go ahead.”

  Now he looked to Kelsey Kay to make sure he was right about this. She was watching just as pie-eyed as the others. It was going to happen.

  Taylor pivoted where she sat, closed her legs up now, suddenly her nudity concerning her mind when it wasn’t before. She put her knees together, pinching the quilt, and she flipped them sideways, leaned forward nearer to Brady. Her hand was tentative when it came up and Harrison could see it shaking. They looked like they would kiss, but he didn’t think Taylor was turned on in the same way she was with Colt. She didn’t commit to putting her lips to his, but their faces got close. Her hand rested on Brady’s chest, right above his nipple, her thumb stroking at his hard, muscular shoulder. She moved around softly, over to the other side then down his trim stomach. The way he sat, his abs weren’t visible, the skin bunched up in thin folds down to his low-hanging shorts. She moved her hand lower, and Harrison began to stiffen to steel watching her.

  It wasn’t terrible. He was jealous as shit, sure, but he loved her so much this was nothing but beautiful. She was faithful with her heart, not with her hands.

  Brady did that weird thing where he sat stiffly, started to flex for her in the places she touched—and it made Harrison instantly aware why Kelsey Kay was going to dump this guy.

  Brady moved in now to kiss her but Taylor hid her lips from him. He persisted and settled on suckling her long, thin neck. Taylor made a sighing sound and ran her nails over Brady’s body. She tilted her head forward, began to kiss and bite at his collar.

  It was really happening, and it was powerful. Steam-driven freight trains thundered through his central nervous system. His head began to shudder while he watched like it rattled on tracks, his heart roared in his chest and the sounds of their kissing mouths were drowned out by his own pulse in his eardrums. He refrained from blurting out Oh God! but couldn’t help himself from flexing and tensing his body, kicking his legs and moving farther away. It wasn’t like he was reproachful, it was just his body’s autonomous function facing fight or flight. His insides told him Get in there! Protect your woman! and his brain said She’s not yours to keep! She’s only yours to love! His body responded with a strange mechanism of ‘retreat’, but fought with ‘fight’ in some interior purgatory.

  The distance between them now, though small, was enough to quell the rising storm lashing through his insides. His heart still raced, but it was endorphins now. It was pleasure and excitement. Even smiled a little and looked to Kelsey Kay. His fifteen-year-old mind leapt forward and said: Give her a high five and shout, Who’s the cool cucumber now, bitch? But he wasn’t a kid anymore. Oh no, sir. He was not a kid. He was an adult and he sure as shit liked being an adult even though it was frightening.

  Kelsey Kay watched and Harrison rotated to sit almost beside her. Space on the bed was cramped, and any time they moved they were touching one another, so moving their pieces around the bed was like one of those sliding tile puzzles.

  Taylor’s suckling mouth came off Brady’s collar, and she moved back, tucked her hands inside the cuffs of her sweatshirt, folded her knees up between them protectively. She was watching Brady though and biting on her lower lip.

  She looked around at him and Kelsey and said, “What are we doing here?”

  Harrison said, “I don’t know.”

  Taylor worked her mouth around, stared a long moment with Kay, then nudged her chin toward Harrison but her eyes still on Kelsey’s. Kelsey looked alarmed. She shook her head no. Taylor was insistent, jabbing her chin again toward Harrison, indicating they should do something together. Kelsey Kay shook her head no again. A small measure of discomf
ort worked through him now.

  Taylor looked to Brady now and said, “Is that okay?”

  Brady looked to Kelsey, and they stared at each other blankly, no psychic connection between them at all. He shrugged his shoulders.

  Kelsey Kay said, “You guys keep going.” Her voice was hesitant and shaky.

  63

  Kelsey Kay was looking at him now, and he could see what she was thinking. He didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to explain it. Didn’t know if his explanation was true. He said, “We’re … going to be ... open.”

  Kay said, “Really?”

  Taylor said, “While we’re apart. We’re going to have an open relationship.”

  Harrison added, “We’re in love.”

  Taylor said, “We are.”

  And he couldn’t help himself. Heaving forward from his cross-legged position, he walked on his hands between Kelsey and Brady, and Taylor leaned forward to kiss him. He was light and careful, and Taylor touched his cheeks with her fingertips. She looked in his eyes then and said, “You’re okay? Really okay?”

  He was. And this was how he would show her.

  He said, “Of course,” and as he withdrew to the footboard, kept her gaze and showed her a pretty decent smile.

  Brady said, “Open? That’s crazy.”

  “No, it’s not,” Kelsey said. Though her face didn’t show her real judgment, he could see something troubled her.

  “It’s not crazy,” Taylor said smiling back at him.

  “It’s not crazy,” Harrison said to her.

  “No, it’s not,” Kelsey said, and scooted herself a little closer to him. His shin pressed against her hip and he had to lift his leg. When he did, she scooted even closer.

  Brady amended his position, “It’s wild is what it is.”

  Taylor was looking at Brady again. Brady’s nervousness had subsided. Now he knew what was up, he was getting more confident.