Separate Schools Page 32

The veins bulged in KC’s hefty arms. He was racing with adrenaline and while a big part of Harrison wanted to see KC knock Colt into the afterlife, he didn’t want trouble. He looked to Taylor coming down the steps, his beautiful girlfriend and her vulgarities out on display for everybody to know now. Her eyes were wet, her cheeks red, and she met his gaze with a mournful look. She trotted down the steps with her arms folded. Kelsey Kay’s eyes darted around, smart Kelsey trying to figure out what she could say.

  Harrison said, “That’s impossible.”

  KC looked at him and said, “Harrison, I told you to go up to the house.”

  He said, “I’m going. But that’s impossible what you’re saying.”

  KC was listening, still mad, still intending to cause damage to Colt. Taylor came down now and stood an arm’s length away from Harrison and stopped. He extended a hand to her, and she whipped hers out and clutched his. Her nails pinched into the backside of his fingers. He said to KC, “When would that have happened? She was with me all night.”

  KC said, “No, she wasn’t. You know she wasn’t.”

  “Sure she was. I was up in the bedroom but I saw her walking around. She came up and saw me a few times. We went to bed together early.”

  The first seed of doubt was planted—but a disappointment welled up within him. It would be so easy right now to say Yeah, your piece-of-shit friend fucked your little sister. Your twenty-two-year-old friend fucked your nineteen-year-old sister. Fucked her pretty good. Are you going to stand for that? Colt was strong and tough probably, but KC was defending his sister and had about twenty pounds on Colt.

  But he didn’t want KC to get hurt. He didn’t want to see KC break a finger on Colt’s face, cost him games, or a chance at a future in football. As much as he wanted Colt’s face to be broken, he would hate to see KC hurt. Or KC get in trouble with the police. Not for this. Not for Taylor. Taylor was Harrison’s problem now. He would assume her protection.

  He squeezed Taylor’s hand and said, “Come on, KC. Taylor? She was with me, dude. I mean it. And she wouldn’t do that.” That was a nice little dig at Taylor, and he hoped she felt that shot crease her bow. It was a warning shot. But it was also love. Because ultimately it was Taylor he did this for.

  Riley had joined them, arms folded, her posture genetically exact to Taylor’s. Two long skinny bodies, Riley’s pinched brow like her sister’s, too. He saw Riley’s eyes flick to Taylor’s; saw communication there. Maybe he didn’t have it yet—that psychic link that her and her friends and sister had—but it was like he could hack into their lines and know what was being said. Riley’s eyes were asking Taylor’s eyes: Did you sleep with Colt? Taylor’s eyes told her sister that she did because Riley stepped forward now and held KC’s wrist. She whispered, “KC, don’t do this. It was me.”

  KC tugged his hand away but Riley kept her grip on him and he didn’t struggle out of it. He watched her face, and she gave her brother a deceptive look of honesty. Lying with her expression and saying, “It wasn’t Taylor. It was me. Don’t tell anybody.”

  That was it, Riley. Make your brother embarrassed to make a scene. Make him feel guilty for embarrassing you even though you’re lying. Even though you know your sister did sleep with Colt.

  For a brief moment there was a flickering warning like the time a week after he paid his mom for the Subaru and he was driving on the highway he saw a bright flash on his dashboard and for two seconds he swore it was the engine light. His mom was a hard-ass and she would tell him it was the buyer’s bad luck—she offered no warranty. His flickering warning light right now was the message: The Brooks girls are bad news! The Brooks girls eat men alive! But Taylor wasn’t Riley. Or at least he thought she wasn’t.

  The warning light on the Soob wasn’t the engine. It was a flickering parking brake light from a slightly too-tight cable. His foot had touched the pedal, and that’s all it was. His mind had cascaded with unnecessary worry.

  He stepped forward, said, “Come on, KC. It’s okay. She was with me,” and he nodded at Riley who gave him a puzzled look—Taylor’s sister trying to comprehend whether Harrison knew the truth or not. He’d prefer Riley to think he didn’t.

  KC, still mad, turned back to Colt. The anger had softened, but hadn’t left him yet. He said, “Dude. Seriously. I know you. If you did, I will fucking end you.”

  Colt say, “I didn’t. Everybody’s telling you I didn’t. Come on, man.”

  No hand was offered in friendship, and KC made a weird grimace then turned and yanked his arm out of Riley’s grip.

  To Taylor, he pointed and said, “Don’t turn into Mom.”

  Taylor looked wounded.

  KC wheeled and left, pounded up the steps, muscles in his back bulging and flexing as he went. The back of his neck was hot red with anger.

  The girls looked to Colt, and he quickly got the picture. He flicked his head to the left, and ran his tongue through the inside of his cheek, smirked a little, then put his hands in his pockets, walked past them and followed KC’s trail back up to the house.

  Kelsey Kay stroked Taylor’s upper arm and Taylor blubbered: “I didn’t, I didn’t do it, I don’t even know ...”

  Kelsey Kay said, “I know you didn’t, baby. It’s okay ...”

  Riley took her in her arms and held her sister. Taylor hugged Riley back but couldn’t thank her. Thanking her would be admitting to Kelsey Kay that she had slept with Colt. And while Taylor had told him she didn’t regret her decision, she wanted to keep it a secret because she knew how bad it was.

  Kelsey Kay stepped back and stood next to him and their shoulders touched. She rubbed his arm now, too. There was an electric spark at her touch because until this moment he’d forgotten what they did last night. They had a much stranger but deeper connection and he didn’t know how to make sense of that. But one thing was clear: the men had left. KC had stormed off, and the girls glowered at Colt until he scarpered as well. But Harrison was allowed in this trusting circle and while he should be happy, he couldn’t help but feel like one of the girls. And that was not the place where he wanted to be. He wanted to be the one that was glowered at and told to leave; whose lustrous presence was dangerous. But he would take what he could get, and he would claw from Taylor what he wanted, what she would allow. The only wish he had right now was to be able to get down on his knees before her and slip a toe ring on her just to watch that pretty face beam and to feel its glow in his heart.

  81

  For half an hour she avoided her friends. Didn’t think she would be able to keep up the façade when she was so emotional.

  One little thing that KC overheard, and he interpreted it as the truth. Just a casual statement from Roxie where she asked Taylor how Colt was in bed. KC overheard. Roxie was joking.

  Roxie had seen how she and Colt were behaving last night and knew that Taylor was going to break up with Harrison. She would never suspect that her good and decent friend Taylor would actually sleep with Colt while Harrison was in the house. It was a joke, KC.

  But it was the truth.

  And that was a little scary. The fact that her own brother thought she might do that. Thought she might be capable of that. She would like to think that he would overhear Roxie and just roll his eyes and know it was a joke right away. But he didn’t. Don’t turn into Mom. What did that mean? What did he think of Mom?

  So while she dealt with those horrible thoughts, she’d stayed away from her friends. Stayed away from Harrison now, too. Her decent boy. Holding her hand and lying to KC who he practically adored, telling her brother She was with me all night. There was no time she could’ve been with Colt. This poor guy she tortured, had sex with Colt while he watched. Suspected he was watching. And right now that good guy, that best friend, that Taylor-cheerleader was in the kitchen making breakfast for everyone. He had some spine on him. It was impressive. The thing she’d done last night should break someone. She couldn’t survive it. Had it been done to her she would’ve left, broken and wounded. But he
stayed. Maybe he was a little chicken to get those guys to move his car but still he stayed. She watched him, too, with Kay. She deserved it. Watched her best friend roll her feminine hips while knowing her boyfriend’s penis was inside her. Meanwhile another guy, a hot guy that she kind of had a bit of a crush on, was inside her. Were they lying to themselves that they could do this? The thing they’d done—all four of them in the bed together—was just demonstration for each other. See, we could do this. We’re so sure we can do it, we can do it right in front of each other. It was a nice thought; she sure would like for it to be true. But boy did it come with pain. Harrison had been her life since she was ten. He had this face that made you instantly want to go up and talk to him. Wanted to see him do that cute little smile, show off his boyish charm. For almost ten years now they’d been pretty much inseparable. But all good things came to an end.

  Why couldn’t she just end it?

  It was clear: ending it would end them. End their friendship. And there was no way they could do that. So being open was the way it was going to be. She just couldn’t dwell on it. Just push away the thoughts of him with another girl. She already knew what she was going to do. Already knew that she was going to meet guys in California, knew she wouldn’t be faithful to Harrison. It was clear enough she’d been ready to break up with him.

  Kelsey had her trapped at the end of the pantry hall, the two of them gathered together and leaning against the rarely used back door that led to a small balcony where her mom would come back in the days when she used to smoke.

  They weren’t saying anything, both of them with their arms folded and not looking at each other, shoulders up against the door, their gaze watched out over the gray lake. Colt was down there on the beach again and KC was with him and they were talking. There were no punches being thrown, and that was a good thing. The rumor would get around. I think Taylor slept with Colt. She says she didn’t, but boy did KC want to beat the shit out of Colt. Would they believe she didn’t? Nice Taylor. Would nice Taylor do something so terrible to such a good guy like Harrison? It would be terrible if they believed it. Maybe it was only KC who got to know the real Taylor. Maybe he was the only one who knew she really could do something that terrible. Maybe she had her friends fooled.

  Kelsey sighed now, ran the tip of her tongue over her upper lip. “Did you? Sleep with him?”

  Boy. Just come right out and ask. Roxie had done the answering for her, saying, I know there’s no way you could do that, Taylor. But Kelsey Kay had been her close friend and confidant for too long. Knew there was a possibility. Hadn’t they planned a similar dirty event together?

  “No,” she said softly.

  “You can tell me if you did.”

  “I wouldn’t do that.”

  Kelsey tilted her head to the side and her eyes rolled up. There was an unsaid interjection there and Taylor heard it even though it wasn’t uttered. You might. You might do that, Taylor.

  “I wouldn’t hurt Harrison.”

  “Did he tell you you could?”

  “Sleep with Colt? He hates that guy.”

  “Most people do.”

  “He wouldn’t want me to be with Colt.”

  “He thought it was okay with Brady.”

  “I guess. He likes you. Harrison does. If you were with Brady, it was like a seal of approval. Plus he doesn’t know the guy.”

  Kelsey nodded, sighed.

  Now a loneliness swept through her again and she felt too distant from her friend. Her hand went out to hold Kelsey’s wrist. “I’m going to be so alone,” she said

  “That’s your choice.”

  “It is my choice. But now I’m afraid.”

  “You’ll do okay out there. I’ll talk to you every day. I’m sure Harrison will, too.”

  “He wants me to—” She stopped. Maybe it was too personal.

  “Wants you to do what?” Kelsey lay her hand over Taylor’s where it held her wrist.

  She said, “He wants me to tell him if I meet anybody.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah, like … He wants me to tell him if I do anything, too.”

  Kelsey nodded. It was a lot. It seemed like just yesterday they were all just dumb high school kids, now the world was getting very adult very fast. Harrison seemed the most levelheaded of all of them. He was nice, and he was kind and generous and he would do anything for you. He was the last guy you would think might have a weird kinky thing going on in his brain. But it was what might make them work, it was what might keep her sane when she was away. With Harrison she could have it all.

  Kelsey said, “Are you going to?”

  “You said it. Be honest with him. The last thing I want to do is hurt Harrison.”

  “I don’t know. Some guys are into that.”

  “The hurt?”

  “No,” she said, rolling her eyes, “Seeing their girl fuck other guys. You remember Ashley Gray ...? Remember her?—she went to Hazelton with us, but ended up at Mitchell High ...”

  She nodded. “I know,” she murmured. Blurb, blurb …

  “Her boyfriend is on the Mitchell hockey team and she let one of his teammates bang her while he watched.”

  “That was a rumor—”

  Kay shook her head no.

  “Some dudes ...” Kay shrugged as though describing the depravity of boys escaped her.

  “You make it sound so—”

  “It is.”

  “What ...?—do you think I’m bad?”

  “No, baby, I get it,” she said, stroking her hair, “I told you I do. I did the Brady thing with you because I get it. And I like Harrison.”

  “He’s so good he makes me feel bad.”

  “But you’re getting exactly what you want.”

  “I feel so guilty. Can you believe he would support me like this?”

  “He’s getting something from it.”

  Now she scoffed. Maybe it was really true. The image of Harrison pleadingly telling her he wanted to be open then secretly getting off on it seemed so ridiculous. But the signs were there. “Can you believe it? Can you believe it with Harrison?”

  Kelsey shrugged, said, “Hey, we’ve all got some crazy thoughts in our heads that we hide from each other.”

  She smiled a little. “What’s yours?”

  Kelsey smiled, too. “No way, sister.”

  She reached out now and put her bare foot over Kelsey’s bare foot, felt the warm skin connect. “You can tell me.”

  “No, Taylor. It’s nothing. I just mean I feel for Harrison. He must be hurting.”

  “I couldn’t have him out of my life. I couldn’t have him hurting either. If he wants to be open, we’ll be open.”

  “Does he want to watch you?”

  “What do you mean?” she said, and her scalp tingled. Kelsey Kay getting right into the heart of this new relationship between her and her boyfriend.

  “Does he want to watch you, like, with other guys?”

  “I think he would,” she whispered.

  “Did he say it to you?”

  “Say it to me? You watched him watch me.”

  “I know. That’s why I’m asking. I think he really ... I don’t know ...” She sighed now, looked away again.

  “Got off on it?”

  Kelsey still looked out the window. “Yeah. Got off on it. I don’t want to say too much, but you know he couldn’t keep his eyes off you and Brady.”

  “Yeah. I don’t know what to tell you. That’s Harrison’s business.”

  “Well I’m not asking him.”

  She laughed. “It’s so kinky.”

  They both giggled a little, and hearing each other’s laughter brought the chuckles stronger.

  It was crazy. The thought that nice guy Harrison wanted something so kinky was crazy. But there was something also kind of hot about it. He was a nice guy. Supportive. So it made sense. He also had a weird matronly-slash-patronly thing that he would do sometimes. Maybe it became more pronounced after her dad left, or maybe sh
e was just too sensitive and that’s why it felt that way, but in the last few years he seemed more mature than her, and when he saw disappointment in some of her actions, he wanted to nurture her. Maybe she had a daddy thing because the idea that she would go to California and do whatever she wanted, and Harrison might watch her from the shadows and like it—and offer guidance—was strangely thrilling.

  Kelsey said, “Did you ever think you would find yourself in such a weird relationship with Harrison?” They were still laughing, and it took her a few breaths to get the question out.

  She rubbed her forehead and sighed a long, lamenting sound. “No. We’ll make it work, but yeah, I never saw this coming.”

  “We didn’t plan for this at all.”

  “Who would have figured?”

  “I guess it’s better than breaking up.”

  There was applause from the kitchen, and they knew breakfast was being served. The smells had grown stronger and more intense; Good Guy Harrison was at work again, at command central in her summertime kitchen. He’d been in there beating eggs, dipping bread in the mixture and making French toast. He had coffee on for the coffee drinkers and helped Cisco cook four trays of bacon in the oven. She needed to see him right now.

  She took Kelsey’s hand, and they walked together down the long pantry hall that emerged in the kitchen and she saw all her friends there. That dull gray light seeped in from the lakeside windows and filled the kitchen with that ghostly glow, flooding the room, erasing dramatic shadows, removing any illusory hue. All their young faces were shown as blankly and starkly and as truthfully as possible. Her sister with her shocking black hair, the tail of a black scorpion visible on her shoulder—she’d changed in the last two years; KC, patron saint of the family now since dad was gone, troubled in his own way but always enduring—there was a lot of Harrison in him even though he was twice the size and had bouts of abject meanness; Shelby and Roxie her best friends—this might be the last time she’d see them until Christmas. Even when she came back at Thanksgiving, she probably wouldn’t meet up with them. They would talk for sure, she would text them, but they were going away. Not to Michigan, going south. Both of them together at Georgia. They would grow separate soon, find new friends, the two of them in a different state. And every time they would meet from here on, it would get farther and farther apart. Cookie, Cisco, Mikey, Jamie, April, all familiar faces that would grow dim and pale. None of them would be in California. She didn’t see them after high school. Would there ever be another Brooks’ lakeside bash? If not, this could be the last time she would feel them as friends.