Separate Schools Read online

  “I’m not stupid,” he said.

  Far out on the lake, the jet skis zipped back and forth. On one of those machines his girlfriend sat with her arms around a jacked-up good-looking college guy who she’d texted to Roxie the squeal that she was ‘falling in love’ with his body. It was a joke, but it hurt him. He’d let that wash off his back though, didn’t even mention it to her. His head was up.

  He said, “We’re not using condoms anymore.”

  Kelsey Kay nodded, watching the horizon. “She told me.”

  With the words out in the open and Kelsey Kay’s sedate response the truth of it came to him. It had been there the whole time, bubbling at the bottom of his pot, but now reality was beginning to rustle the surface. His girlfriend was going on the pill as she headed off to college.

  A sickness worked through him and he hunched over. Disguising his sudden emotional response, he sent out a good long squittering blast of tobacco-spit that arced into the water like a leaping salmon.

  Kelsey Kay chuckled and whispered, “Good one.”

  He nodded and sat upright despite the cramping in his stomach.

  The sound of the jet skis’ drone came and went with the wind. One time they got closer to shore and they could both hear Taylor whooping, and Shelby yelling something excitedly.

  Kelsey Kay said, “You guys have been together a long time.”

  “Yeah, we have.”

  “How long have you been dating?”

  “It’s, like, two-and-a-half years now.”

  “And you’ve known each other how long?”

  “Forever. Since, what?—Grade 5? Nine years, ten years. She’s my best friend.”

  “That’s a long time for you guys to be together.”

  “Is that a bad thing? What has she said to you?”

  “She hasn’t said anything.”

  “Are you sure? Because it’s like you’re trying to break something to me.”

  “You’re my friend. But you gotta see.”

  “See what?”

  “You guys have been together a long time, and now you’re going to be apart ...”

  “So?”

  They watched each other’s faces for a few heartbeats then she changed the subject. “We going to hang out at Michigan State?”

  “Sure. But seriously, what are you getting at? Are you trying to tell me that Taylor’s going to cheat on me? Has she said that to you?”

  “I told you she didn’t tell me anything. But…” She let it hang. And now she couldn’t look him in the eyes, her shoulders lightly shrugging and her eyes rolling around looking up at the clouds.

  “But what?”

  “She could’ve gone to Michigan state.”

  “She didn’t get in.”

  Kelsey Kay gave him her best seriously? face, pursing her lips in a wriggling line and tenting her eyebrows while her head was cocked. “Bull shit,” she said.

  “You’re telling me she got in?”

  “She gets into Santa Cruz but she doesn’t get into Michigan State? Her SATs were fine.”

  His insides had constrained to hard jagged shapes that pressed against his skin. He said, “Well, then she lied to me.”

  Kelsey Kay leaned over her knees and spit a long brown stream into the lake. “She loves you.”

  “Loves me enough to lie to me?”

  “Maybe. She doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

  “She doesn’t want to break up with me.”

  “Harrison. Maybe I’m really fucking wrong. But I don’t think I am.”

  “So she’s your friend and you’re gonna throw her under the bus like this? Say shitty things about her to her boyfriend, tell her boyfriend she’s purposely going to a different school, so, like, she can get away from him. Fuck you, Kay. Seriously, fuck you. You’re just causing shit. You always do that, always needling people.” His pinched fingers wriggled around inside his cheek, yanked out the sopping wet Bandit. He flicked it into the lake, shook his head. Now he just got up, drew his heels underneath him and stood.

  Kelsey Kay didn’t care. She stayed looking out over the water, always too superior to fight. Fuck her.

  He left her there at the end of the dock, turning his back on his girlfriend as well (who he apparently should be keeping an eye on), and stomped back along the deck, past Brady and The Bear (who might fuck his friend Roxie tonight), hated his own thoughts right now, and he ran up the stairs to the house and up to the kitchen.

  29

  While puttering around the kitchen it began to grate on him how he’d been a dick to Kelsey Kay. Those dumb, defensive words kept playing back in his ears and it made him feel foolish. The things she said sure pricked at him, but she wasn’t provoking him. The understanding she had of the situation between him and Taylor wasn’t as broad as his (she said Taylor had told her nothing), but admittedly, he wished his understanding of the situation could be a little better, too. He was positive that Taylor didn’t have all the answers either. This was the greatest challenge their relationship had ever faced and instead of confronting it, they’d let it turn gray and milky, despite neither of them trying to stir it too much.

  The second cooler he and Taylor brought was filled with chicken breasts and pork, and store-bought hamburger patties. The contents had been transferred to the pantry fridge, and he brought them out to the kitchen and began to season them; just doing it to keep his hands busy. They were defrosted already now from the ride in the cooler and sitting in the fridge. Once that was done, he sealed them back up in their containers and put them all back in the pantry fridge.

  Back at the sink and washing poultry off his hands, he watched out the window that looked down the slope and the beach; a big sunny view of the lake. The jet skis were zipping along nearer to shore now and strafing the floating dock where Care Bear stood, Brady floating in the water next to it on the shore-side. The swimming dock was about eight-by-eight, and Care Bear made it look tiny. He had his shirt off now, just wearing swim shorts. He was furred all over and bulged with muscle. His stomach was a little round looking but somehow not flabby. He had his arm cocked with the football in it and now he looked to peg one of the jet skis. Colt and Stevie both raced nearby taunting him because he only had one chance.

  Also coming back to shore was KC and the motor boat. The inner tube bounced and jounced behind him and there was a tangle of arms and legs on it holding on for dear life. Three people on it, maybe four, but it was too distant to tell who was who, but the laughter and yelling that he could hear even through the glass was a mix of boys and girls.

  One thing that struck him now, and it got his stomach flinching: he saw Stevie laughing and taunting Care Bear, pointing a finger and daring him to throw; his wet brown hair swept back from his face, Taylor clinging to his bare body. Only it wasn’t Taylor who rode with him. That was Shelby’s long brown arms hooped around his mid-section. Now his eyes darted to the other jet ski to see that Taylor rode with Colt. Colt had his shirt off, too, and Taylor laughed and taunted Care Bear along with him, and her bare hands were spread wide on Colt’s hard, flat stomach. They were low enough to touch the waist of his shorts.

  “Aw, Taylor,” he sighed to the empty kitchen, and winced. His heart had been in a real workout today and somehow after the initial jump at the sight of her with her hands on Colt, he didn’t feel lightheaded and its beat didn’t get thready, instead he saw it as part of a bigger picture. One Kelsey Kay had prepared him for. Get used to it, Harrison. Taylor would have friends soon he didn’t know, she would meet all sorts of girls and guys and forge friendships that would probably last a lifetime. Without him. He wouldn’t be the one to prevent that. An asshole would do that, and he wasn’t an asshole.

  Seeing her happy and laughing, engaged in horseplay with boys he didn’t really know twisted at him, but what was worse was that he could believe that she chose not to go to State. But why? And why not just tell him she wanted to go to California? Was it because he hadn’t applied there?—and if she kn
ew all along she wanted to go away without him, did she know back when they were applying? She could just tell him what she wanted. He would listen. Did she think he wouldn’t?

  All the things they discussed about being away and apart (and it wasn’t very much) had been how they would make it work. Why would she do that if she didn’t intend it to be true? He didn’t think Taylor could lie to his face. Not without him knowing.

  Now he could see Kelsey Kay walking along the beach with her arms folded over her chest and he felt bad that he had said such mean things to her. She was his friend, and he lashed out when she was just trying to have a conversation. She stopped and watched everyone coming back in, her feet planted in the hot sand. He wound the window open with its lever and the pane stretched out. A breeze passed his face, and he could hear their voices more clearly.

  As Colt and Taylor swooped by the swimming dock again, Care Bear finally rifled the ball and it went like a shot but had a bit of a wobble. Colt and Taylor whisked their heads away and Taylor hugged herself to him tightly, pressing her almost bare body tightly to his naked back.

  The throw was off, but not by much, and as Colt looped the jet ski around he pointed at Care Bear and laughed. His yelling voice traveled up through the open window, telling Care Bear he was a fatso with a shit arm. Colt slowed the jet ski near the bobbing football and Taylor bent to retrieve it.

  They came in slowly to the dock and Care Bear held out a hand to help Taylor off. She was hoisted up easily and Harrison jolted as her tiny bra shifted sideways and both her nipples were bared. She laughed and jumped up, bouncing on her toes. The football was passed to Care Bear, and she adjusted her top. Care Bear and Colt exchanged a brief smiling look.

  He dried his hands with a tea towel and continued to watch. Stevie and Shelby drew near on their wave runner but not close enough to have the ball thrown. Taylor encouraged Colt to throw, wanting to see if he could hit them, even clutching his shoulder once, her thin hands curving over his muscle. Care Bear turned and while he was standing next to Taylor, he shoved his shorts right down to his knees and bared his moon to Stevie and Shelby. Taylor looked down, his bare ass a half foot away, and she laughed and covered her eyes. It wasn’t impossible that she’d seen the guys hanging ball sack and now his stomach tightened again. He adjusted his shorts, feeling an awkward surge in his cock that made no sense.

  Stevie bailed eventually, probably knowing Colt had a much better arm than Care Bear, and he tied his jet ski to the dock and helped Shelby up, his hands on her ass and thighs and Shelby didn’t seem to mind at all. No pseudo-karate on handsome Stevie with the swoon-inducing body.

  KC brought the boat into the dock and Stevie helped tie it off to a cleat as the gang disembarked raucously and trotted along the dock and onto the beach. Colt tossed the football and Pontoon ran on the shore to catch it, jumping into the water with it clutched to his chest. Colt and Care Bear began enjoining the others for a game of football in the waist-high water and Taylor swum to shore. Kelsey Kay stood waiting for her on the beach.

  They had his attention now, and he watched as Taylor came up out of the lake, water streaming down her gleaming body, pulling her wet hair back from her face. Her eyes were on Kelsey Kay and she was listening to something she was saying. Her expression showed concern. The two of them got close together and talked. Cisco and Mikey passed them, moving along into the shade and up the beaten path to climb the stairs back up to the house. Taylor squeezed her hair out and the concern on her face became a sort of sadness. She shrugged a lot and shook her head. He wondered if they talked about what had happened between him and Kelsey Kay on the dock. It was most likely, but he wondered what it meant. Had the two girls talked before about this? Was it possible that Kelsey Kay had been ordered by Taylor to do the breaking up for her but flubbed it?

  A sickness worked into him again and his shoulders felt suddenly heavy. The basement door thumped closed under his feet and he heard Mikey and Cisco laughing about something.

  When they came up the stairs, he’d forced his face into a false expression of good humor.

  “There he is,” Cisco said as they came into the kitchen.

  Mikey said, “Hey, you need some help?”

  He nodded and smiled but couldn’t speak for fear of the intense hurt showing up in his voice.

  30

  Mikey and Cisco spent half an hour with him prepping food for dinner and making s’mores that they could cook on the fire. The work and the camaraderie helped take his mind off Taylor. Soon the uneasiness in him settled, and he was back to thinking this was an overreaction on his part. If Taylor wanted to break up, she would tell him. Sure, it might throw doubt to think things like she just wanted this last weekend to go smooth and then she would break up with him on Sunday, but he’d given her the opportunity to break up when they were in the boathouse and she didn’t take it. In fact, she was adamant that they had said they would make it work. Thinking that Kelsey Kay was supposed to be the breakup agent was just his mind playing games since all the jealous provocations he’d encountered seeing Taylor with the college guys. They would figure it out somehow, and he would take Kelsey Kay’s good advice: You’re going to have to be a cool cucumber, Harrison.

  Once the food was prepped, he left Cisco and Mikey in the kitchen, went out the side door and grabbed an armful of kindling. It was late afternoon, and though it would be four or five hours before it was dark it might be nice to have the fire going. He dumped the kindling by the fire pit which was halfway down the slope between the patio and the beach and tucked away to the side. It was a flat area with rough flagstones that were mostly hidden under a bed of soft pine needles. A dozen Adirondack chairs circled a deep pit lined with jagged suitcase-sized granite boulders.

  Down the slope twenty yards or so, Kelsey Kay sat in the sand with Taylor in her tiny bikini. She had her Solo cup again, and he wondered if she had it spiked. It was best to push that thought away. Cool cucumbers didn’t nag their girls, they let them have fun.

  Most importantly, whatever tense conversation had transpired between Kay and Taylor when she arrived off the jet ski was over with, and both of them now were in obvious good moods. They watched the college guys play football. Brady had joined in, and it reminded him how Kelsey Kay had said she was done with him. There was something satisfying in that, and he wasn’t sure what it was. Like, maybe it confirmed to him Brady was an empty kind of guy and Kelsey Kay had been with him just for his body. Girls could use guys for sex, too, it wasn’t just boys who did that. That should be frightening but it was somehow comforting. Harrison was ‘keeper’ material, of that he was sure. No one would use him for his body. A girl who loved him did so because of the whole experience. As Taylor had said in the boathouse: No one could love me like you do.

  The football game continued near the shore, all the guys having fun and running as best they could through almost waist-high water. Shirts were off and muscles gleamed and the girls watched. Including Taylor.

  There were two teams; KC, Stevie, and Pontoon on one side, Colt, Rick-Joe, and Kelsey Kay’s Brady on the other. Care Bear sat on the floating dock with a six-pack and reffed, or something, hurling insults against both teams. Taylor leaned close to Kelsey Kay, and they both laughed about something then applauded a good tackle. He was pretty sure it was Stevie they watched and whispered about. His shorts rode a little low, and he had great abs and those deep lines that led down toward his cock from his hip bones that girls always seemed to go extra kooky for.

  Whatever. Cool cucumber, Harrison, remember. If he was down on the beach with his friends and it was girls’ volleyball happening, he’d be a little pie-eyed, too, and elbowing his buddies. Taylor didn’t know he was close behind her, just let her have fun.

  There was some good dry cedar that was cut and split and stacked up at the stone wall of the house, underneath the kitchen windows. Trish had some guy from the Wolf Lake area who got it ready for the summer season for them.

  He went up there a
nd gathered a couple arm loads, bringing them down and plopping them around the fire pit. There was more uproarious laughter from the beach, and he could see now the ball had landed up in the sand. It was Riley who had everybody laughing. She had the ball cocked back and looked to throw it at someone. The girls laughed, but the guys playing football were bold and taunting, looking like even if she could manage to hit one of them it wouldn’t even hurt, anyway. Some of them saying Come on, go ahead, some of them warning her that she didn’t want to do that. Care Bear jumped to his feet on the swimming dock, his beer almost toppling over as it bounced on the waves with his weight. He hoisted his pants down again, no balls seen, bared his ass at Riley for a target. He slapped his own cheeks and challenged her.

  Riley laughed, took aim, trotted three girlish steps and winged the ball as hard as she could. It was nowhere near Care Bear. It shot up almost straight in the air and to the right, going and over and, and the guys laughed at her. She told them to Fuck off and tumbled back to her beach blanket where she’d been sitting with Cookie and April. Taylor was clapping for her sister, saying, “Next time, Riley.”

  Harrison got back to work and set up a nice teepee in the center of old ashes that had been left in a tufted mound in the center of the fire pit. He brought down a rolled up newspaper to tear strips off it and thatch a nest underneath his teepee. There was more yelling down at the beach, and he looked. There was taunting going on, some finger-pointing and some challenge made—though he didn’t follow what had happened.

  Some wager had been issued between the two teams. Stevie yelled out, You’re on, and gave them a deadeye. Pontoon had been drinking as well, and Harrison watched as he walked backward with his team yanking down the front of his trunks, reaching in and pulling out his dick. He wagged it at Stevie threateningly. Stevie covered his face as if he’d been splashed with acid. The girls laughed uproariously.

  That sick flinch fluttered through Harrison’s stomach again. Taylor had seen that. Taylor had watched another guy take his penis out and wave it around. Pontoon wasn’t super huge or anything, but he definitely had nothing to worry about. The image burned like a phosphorescent print even when he closed his eyes. Now a chant began.